Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
