Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
