The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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