Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize