You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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