Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize