and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
