if i can run in heels then i can drive
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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