she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize