Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize