he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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