Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
