I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
