Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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