well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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