that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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