Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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