what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
