I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
