Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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