Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
