i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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