i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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