i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
love makes seman taste better
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
