dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
