If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
