He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
