Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
