google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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