he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
