He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
im on a boat
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