I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
