Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
