hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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