I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do herpes really smell.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
