I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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