But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When did angry sex become our thing?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
