No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
