Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize