Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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