$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
