Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
