Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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