I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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