There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
