His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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