the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
