Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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