When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
