Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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