Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i think i have herpe
just one?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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