We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
