I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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