So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
