your parents love me but you hate me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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