i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
