He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
