He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
