THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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