My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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