in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My balls are so social today.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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