making cat noises will not fix the situation.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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