You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
